It's nostalgic feelings that is taking over me,

I feel  strong enough not to get withered with those blend of notions,

I have to stay and fight for my cause,

And reason with my own strength

Sometime I like to shout at the highest pitch

Jump from some roof top

And get land somewhere ,where I would be free

Free like the freedom itself 

But at the end,what I fathom ,

I 'm human being with limited choice to opt for,

I can't be free  from myself... and what to say about the others,

Life needs variation what I always proclaim,

So , notions took  over  reasons

And I am heading  back home after year long.

Redressing de Truth

I feel somewhat thrown away from the truth.

Its really hard to fathom the profoundness of such truth.

Why there is lot of such hassle?

And why there is so much of gossips?

Why there are such unwanted differences between male and female?

I feel like to throw myself to some unknown world free of those random truths.

Nothing to yell over or to shout at.

Endless distance to cover , with short steps.

To give  life a chance to redress myself.

Smokes of Cold Fire

I am nowhere but feels somewhere in the midst of wrecked thoughts,
pushing myself to do the same task i have been doing ,
it kills the patience within me,
i feel, as if, cold-fire encircling the soul inside me
trying to attenuate my own self image,
i feel its presence but i am letting it,
bearing the pain with gradual faded image of my own,is what i can perceive
Bloods seems to have changed its course,
It now runs through the veins with dejected intention,
bloods are slowly abandoning my presence,
sometime two drops of blood feels like filling my barren heart,
But my barren heart cries not for blood,
But for soul,which is slowly disappearing
it is altering, unknown by its form
I can't even feel it,though it is occuring within me,
But i do feel the void within,which is increasing with rise of fire-flame
cold-fire,certainly is not my friend,
i can't make out why cold-fire can't be friend of mine
i struggled lot to befriend with her,
But she didn't demur me,it was me who couldn't get along
i can feel the void enlarging,
it's me who made the the room for the void to grow
i nurtured & nourished it to be bigger and painful,
i am annoyed against my own existence,
i am killing myself to reach that far end.

Turn of thoughts

27th August,i was walking through the lane of the lonely pavement of my Department with a thought in my mind.
Only few people could be seen far away from me.Pavement where i walked was wet and reflected the faded images of the trees branches and leaves above it.
Water dropped from the unsymmetric axis of the leaves.Some dropped on my hair,that made way up to my top most skull skin and then down to my ears and some to my face.Above the trees,lighter clouds were visible and the thunder sound was audible too.
It seemed rain had bestowed its beauty again on the earth and made the air around our university better to breathe.
Air seemed to be palying with the thoughts of mine,
it gave heave to a tender feeling of someone's absence.
I didn't know whether the feeling was fragile or genuine.
But i enjoyed the process.Life really starts to go into another step with such tender feeling.
The tender feeling that the air made to heave out was a thought about a girl (name i don' t know, where she lives i don't know,in short i don't know anything about her but the feeling for her was
genuine), whom i had seen three months ago.
Then i had felt something about her (i usually do not get attracted to girls at first sight only) but it was not strong enough.
But that particular day was a turn around for my feeling for her.
Walking through the pavement ,i suddenly got the faded thoughts about her, and the thoughts became more vivid.
I felt if she would be here again,a distance far away, so that i could see her,in some or the other way.Those abrupt feeling was a real booster for me , i had never enjoyed such feelings in my life.
To my surprise,an hour after,when i came out of my department talking with one of my best friend on my cell,i saw someone similar to her a distance away from me.
she was around forty-fifty feet away from me
.As the distance between me and her decreased at a slower rate (as i was glaring at her ,if she was the one that i thought,and she was walking at her pace) her face became visible
and to my fortune or mis-fortune (which i don't know ) she was the one walking forward.(i was not sure whether she saw me or not,as i was standing quite far away from the pavement).
I felt as if i should talk to her.But there arose another thoughts that were,"what should i ask her?" ,"how to start the talk?","How should i introduce myself?".There was also a fear ,if she
didn't show any interest to talk with me.But "one thing" stopped me from going ahead.
And i really do not regret for that "one thing" that didn't let me go ahead.
If i had approached i know that she would not have shown any kind rejection to talk with me.What i know about myself is that,I have always being good with girls and girls too were good with me.
During my school days i had learnt a great deal about girls.I really respect girls for their wonderful traits and the generous feeling that they have within their small-heart.
But there is also lot about them that i do not know.I think that a life time would be less if i go into research in this subject.
But the main headline is that, Life has to go on.And i am not wrong to say that it really goes on.
What i always ask to myself as a second person is, "What is the progress in my life?"
I just answer to this by saying ,"So far good,expecting something more of its kind in some form ...".
What i believe is that life need to have some variation or some spice added to it, in some or the other form ,so that life doesn't get saturated.
And i can bet with everyone that no one wants their life to be saturated.

Shade of Thoughts

Thoughts were only the assets i had always played with,
Life of mine was entwined within the subtle nature of thoughts,
In the shadow of dark shades ,
Thoughts lend me courage to follow the shadow of my choice,
Which seemed to be fading as i followed,
The shade too was against my choice,
I got into dilemma for the choice i made,
My conscience and the unparallel world of shade let me into thoughts of conflict,
I felt conscience was on my side and the world of shade against me,
But shade showed me the way out of dark shades,
And conscience warned me for what i was choosing,
Conflict between this two were like choosing a truth displayed in two forms,
There seemed no answer to this conflict,
But one thing was sure, to opt for one and to decide
Again while thinking for this there heave out another conflict within this conflict,
This conflict by far seemed to be heavier than the thoughts were,
And this time i didn't have a choice to make out,
On one hand there was consicence and on the other there was path of shade to follow,
Between this two was a conflict that gave rise to another conflict,
I felt my life would only circumscribe within the boundary of this conflict,
As i was in no way good to find, how really to get out of this conflict
This conflict made me not only feeble but also fearful,
I didn't had the prowess to ponder for way out of this,
Life within this conflict had turned out to be meaningless and even more worthless,
I had abandoned every ray of hope,
Life was standstill in the world of shades,
And to my misfortune i had to stay with these conflicts of mine,
But these conflicts taught me way out of my own-self,
As it was only me who gave rose to those thoughts,
And those thoughts were the real shades,
Which had build the world of shades by its own prowess
But i choosed not to give rise to another conflict out of this,
I made another way out of those path of shade.