Smokes of Cold Fire

I am nowhere but feels somewhere in the midst of wrecked thoughts,
pushing myself to do the same task i have been doing ,
it kills the patience within me,
i feel, as if, cold-fire encircling the soul inside me
trying to attenuate my own self image,
i feel its presence but i am letting it,
bearing the pain with gradual faded image of my own,is what i can perceive
Bloods seems to have changed its course,
It now runs through the veins with dejected intention,
bloods are slowly abandoning my presence,
sometime two drops of blood feels like filling my barren heart,
But my barren heart cries not for blood,
But for soul,which is slowly disappearing
it is altering, unknown by its form
I can't even feel it,though it is occuring within me,
But i do feel the void within,which is increasing with rise of fire-flame
cold-fire,certainly is not my friend,
i can't make out why cold-fire can't be friend of mine
i struggled lot to befriend with her,
But she didn't demur me,it was me who couldn't get along
i can feel the void enlarging,
it's me who made the the room for the void to grow
i nurtured & nourished it to be bigger and painful,
i am annoyed against my own existence,
i am killing myself to reach that far end.